W.L.T.M.

{him:}
single white professional with a house and two cars
my interests are the cinema, the theatre and bars
I’m considered good-looking by the people who know me
I’m never condescending to those below me
I love all animals but have no pets
I get on well with children… but I don’t want to be a dad, just yet

I’m looking for a lady with similar tastes
an hour-glass figure and a beautiful face
a good sense of humour… must enjoy a joke
must be N.S… all that fag-ash and smoke!
first-time advert, never done this before
I’m looking for friendship, who knows, maybe… something more
maybe something more

and I would love to meet
would love to meet
would love to meet
I would love to meet

{her:}
single white female, mother of two
likes Monet, Shakespeare and ‘A room with a view’
barefoot contessa with bright blue eyes
into broadening her horizons and firming up her thighs
independent Cathy, financially secure
seeks Heathcliffe, based midlands, but will travel to your moor

I’m looking for my knight in shining armour
a city type perhaps? or a gentleman farmer?
I’d prefer a silent viking or a moody romancer
but anything considered… all letters answered
I’d like to meet a tall guy, six feet or above
but what I’m really looking for is someone to love
someone to love

and I would love to meet
would love to meet
would love to meet
would love to meet

{him:}
I wanna call but… I’m afraid to talk
you’re bound to reckon I’m… I’m a complete dork
I take a breath, I dial and then it’s ring ring ring…
oh, what a relief… it’s an answerphone thing

and I would love to meet
would love to meet
would love to meet
would love to meet

{him (reading):} “attractive, slim, intelligent, twenty-seven,
      seeks GSOH, with a 911”
{her (reading):} “straight-talking, beer-drinking northern bloke,
      seeks straight-talking girl for a laugh and a joke”
{him (reading):} “lady, mid-fifties, though you’d never tell,
      seeks energetic gent with a view to gel”
{her (reading):} “Fred seeks his Ginger to tango and rhumba”
{him (reading):} “Ken, phone Annie, I’ve lost your number”